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Not Fitting In Any More

Have you recently been feeling this way too?  Like you don’t fit in anymore, especially when you know you used to?

Sometimes it is other people changing towards you, but oftentimes, it’s really yourself.  When we change inwardly, we can no longer look at people and situations in the same ways.  It reminds me of that Door’s song, “People are strange, when you’re a stranger…”

Things have changed dramatically for me in the last few months, but a lot of it has been an inward shift, rather than external conditions (although those have changed to).  Right now, there’s only a few people I feel comfortable being myself around, but I also feel the need to listen more than speak.  Unfortunately for me, conversation is two ways, not one, and I end up saying things that don’t resonate with other people as much anymore.

These times are ok, both for you, and for me. We are human, and we do change. We grow in consciousness and intellect and spirit. Much of the time it’s gradual, but there are big leaps too. If you’re feeling like you don’t fit in anymore – maybe you don’t.

Maybe you are supposed to not force it, or find different people, or give yourself some time so that when you come back you can fit in with them again. Not fitting in may hurt, but it’s not a bad thing. When you’ve grown the rest of the way you’re supposed to, everything else will fall into place too – I promise.

Let’s be patient together, knowing it’ll all work out well with time. I invite you to grow with me. :)

All best,

Rose

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  • Elf

    I suppose that 'fitting in' presupposes that there is a me-shaped box already in existence in the world, that once found, is the answer to everything. Just dive right in, and happiness ensues. Or maybe not. For me at least, I tend to arrive at new situations and groups with the desire to conform, in order to fit in. The box is them-shaped, and I squeeze myself into it, and put on my best grimace, which looks good enough to be a smile for those already in the box. After a while, I remember who I am, and my arm pokes out at an odd angle, and people are like 'what's up with your arm? It doesn't fit in our box any more. Put it back in line right away, if you wouldn't mind.'. So i try, but it hurts, and after a while, my arms pokes through, and I accidentally break the box and run away, knowing but not looking back at how the people behind me are trying to piece their box back together again, even with the hole I created in it.

    Truth is, that I don't seem to fit in anywhere. I am perhaps, my own me-shaped box.

    What do you think, Rose?

  • Miv

    Then that's what you should be. It's called being true to yourself.

  • bigups

    These are both great posts. I find myself going through this for the first time with my large tight-knit group of friends. Truth is, it is making me feel out of place a little bit. They were the first group that I've ever fully connected with, and we have had some great moments through the years. I'm having a hard time letting go of that life, but I want to keep growing as an individual. It's good to know others go through this crap

    • http://www.risingupward.com rosegarland1

      I really feel for you – it's no fun losing friends, especially when it's a large group, or one that is especially tight-knit. It happened to me too, and all I can say is to not let your heart get too scarred from all of it. Let it go and move forward as soon as you can.