Do you need to be liked?
I don’t know about you, but my guess is that you feel the same way, that you’d rather be liked than disliked. And I do think it’s ok to feel like you need to be liked – as long as it’s not obsessive or how you live your life. If everyone in the world disliked us, that would be an awful thing, so in a way, I do think there is a ‘need’ there, that fulfills a necessary need – one that helps us to survive.
Although, personally, I am ok with being disliked–as long as I am liked or disliked for the right reasons. Especially disliked. I prefer to be disliked just because I rubbed someone the wrong way, or because we disliked each other to start with, or because they judged me evilly, or because I pray, because I drink too much coffee, or because they don’t like my sense of style. I really don’t care what those people think. These people have no value to me, because they see one thing and judge the whole on it–and most of the time, these people don’t have the capacity to look further.
On the other hand, I don’t like to be disliked for stuff other people have judged me on without really taking the time to know me. I don’t like to be disliked for prejudices, or by friends, when my true friends know I have and will always do the imperfect best I can for them.
I don’t like to be disliked or hated because of a misunderstanding, when a person could talk to me about it civilly, but chooses to nurture their hatred instead, or talks about me behind my back to everyone else. I also don’t like to be disliked when someone transposes their own inadequacies on me instead of realizing they are self-creating.
I also prefer, that if I am to be disliked, that it be for something that I have done or said that makes that feeling to seem justified. I try hard not to hurt people, but I know that it does happen. I guess I’m saying that I’d rather be disliked for something real or honest, than a misperception.
And, while I prefer not to be disliked for this stuff, I can handle it, and unfortunately have. I’d just really rather not.
If you are in a position where you feel like you ‘need’ to be liked, no matter what someone does to you, I think it would be good to delve deep inside yourself and figure out why.
And remember, that’s it’s likely that there is always someone out there who does like and value you for who you are-even if it doesn’t seem like you’ve met them yet.