Are you too nice? If you said, “No,” and laughed at yourself – I understand where you’re coming from. There is such a thing as being too nice. Many of us learn this the hard way.
It’s important to have a good heart and to care about other people. Passivity, however, is where this becomes a problem. Many people put up with far too much from other people. They become stressed from an inability to say no. It’s not emotionally healthy to live your life as a doormat. All of us HAVE to learn how to say no sometimes.
Being a good person isn’t always about doing what other people want you to do. Believe it or not, being a good person is sometimes about respecting yourself enough to do what’s best for you. Taking time for yourself will make you a stronger person and better able to help your loved ones when it really counts.
Unfortunately, when you have a tendency to be too nice, a certain type of selfish person can take advantage. These people will for some reason think it’s ok to expect you to do all the cleaning, or babysitting, or work alone on a project that’s supposed to be a team effort. They don’t see anything wrong with that, because “you’d agree to it anyway.” These people are more than willing to give you more than you could reasonably handle.
There are even situations where being too nice can put you into dangerous situations, where the too nice person can become a victim.
Please, don’t let this happen to you!
All of us have an innate need to be valued as a human being – but at the end of the day, the only person who can really give us the validation we need is ourselves. There are predators out there, and you don’t want to be their prey.
If you find yourself with a seeming inability to say no, you may have a self-esteem issue that you really should address.
1. Do you care about yourself as much as you care about others?
2. Do you respect yourself as much as you respect others?
3. Do you value yourself as much as you value others?
If you can answer yes, to all three of these, than you have the ability to still be a nice person–one who can say no and make it stick.
And if you can’t say that you care, respect and value yourself as much as others–you need to look deeply into yourself to find why–and fix it. Every person is equal and deserves the same care, respect and value. Even you.
Here’s wishing you ‘nice’ without being ‘too nice.’ Best wishes to all,
Rose
