Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fight of the decade.
In the first corner, is judgmental Sam, wearing his red, white and blue shorts, weighing a hefty 1,776 lbs.
Our next contender, is Lady Liberty, an icon of purity and compassion. She’s a little thing, but don’t discount her. It’s said that the torch she carries weighs more than her husband, Truth himself.
The Constitution ring is looking a little worse for wear as the previous battles between Tiny State and Massive Federal modified it to fit their requirements. In fact, don’t forget to visit Tiny State’s local ring, Death and Taxes over on 100 Percent Avenue.
But the history of the Constitution ring holds strong as long as the checkered coral, ebony, mocha and jade concrete squares holds the alabaster corners in place.
Truth cheers Lady Liberty as she swings her mighty torch, stepping forward with a determined look on her face. In a surprise move, Sam sweeps her feet making her fall on the mat.
Arms raised high, he pumps his fists in victory towards the cheering crowd.
Lady Liberty though, although small in stature, has a long reach. Without missing a step, she does a backwards somersault and lands on the shoulders of hefty Sam, and raises her torch to the crowd.
She could have beaned him with the torch, or even kicked him in the knee, but she didn’t! That Lady Liberty! She’s a class act!
She squeezes his neck with her thighs, and uses the weight of her torch to make him drop to her knees. Folks, you’ll never believe it, but Sam’s eyes tell the whole story, as they turn red and seem to be shooting venom!
She did it – she knocked him out cold with just one move! 10, 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… Folks, I think she’s done it!
She’s standing self-consciously, almost demurely, as she welcomes her children, Immigration, and American Spirit to the ring. 4…3…2… 1….! She’s done it! Lady Liberty has won!!!!
But wait a minute! Where is Sam going? His hefty belly and bright shorts are easy to spot as he goes from person to person in the crowd. What is he whispering to them? Whatever it is, the crowd is quickly changing their tune towards our champion Lady Liberty.
Booooo! Hisssssss! The crowd is suddenly enraged as Lady Liberty lifts up the Championship Belt. What is this? Is that Ms. Supreme Court taking it away from her? What’s going on?
Maybe Liberty’s Husband, Truth will have some answers. “Truth! What’s going on here? Do you have any idea?”
“Well, Rose, I do. See, as my Uncle Sam left the ring, he started whispering to each person, but as I listened, he wasn’t saying anything important, or doing anything that would cause this kind of reaction.
However, I now believe that was meant to be a distraction, because in the hallway, his twins, Lies and Corruption, were busy offering the audience bribes if they would just boo Lady Liberty. A seemingly small, insignificant act, but as you see, one with great consequences.
And although she won fairly, the reaction of the audience persuaded the judge, Ms. Supreme Court to rescind the win, making it so neither Sam, nor Liberty are officially the winners.
It’s the same in every match – the fights continue, nobody wins, but Liberty is continuously trampled.”
“Why does she do it then, Truth? Why does she keep fighting in these matches even if she can’t win?”
“It’s easy,” Truth said. “Liberty fights because she has hope.
For her, even though she knows she’ll probably lose – she knows she might not.
Because no matter what, her legacy will always be worth fighting for.”
