I’m not sure where this post is going, and even if I should post it up here – because, and I’ll come right out and say it – I’m pretty sure it’ll bore you guys to tears. On the other hand, I have an absolute burning need to write, and you always have the option to go somewhere else. Go! Be free!!!
You’re still here? Ok then…. So, I’m one of those people who is always pretty creative, but this last month I have been in overdrive! Is it because of the spring weather?
In my head right now, I have plans to make a 4 foot tall sculpture (paper mache? cardboard? Easter baskets? Rope?) , more jewelry (with dominoes and resin!), magnets, comics, masks, poems and more. In the last couple of weeks I’ve already created cat toys, hair things, jewelry, worry stones (beautiful!), poems, a shadow box, and a whole set of laws just for fun.
In my head, I’ve fixed our country, moved to Canada, solved wars, developed themes for wedding, children’s parties, imaginary work functions, etc, and created art projects that I haven’t actually made yet. I’ve solved the argument with my Dad, told both my Mom’s (living and dead), and my step-mom, how awesome they are, gotten married in 5 different locations, and honeymooned in ten. Being a ‘creative’ type is pretty darn awesome sometimes.
One of the hard things about being so creative though, is that really, no one around me gets ideas like I do – and if they do, they don’t actually do them (why have an idea if you’re not going to do something with it?). Plus, I sometimes feel like being creative is something you’re supposed to grow out of (although, I personally never will). I am really dying for the company of other creative people! When will it happen? Fellow creative people! I neeeeeeed you!!!!
I’ve been thinking a lot about introversion, and how to not be quite so extreme. The hard thing for true introverts, is that it really is hard to make lasting friends, because we’re just not programmed to want to be around other people all that much. I am one of those rare introverts that really likes most people – in small doses. I love to meet people, and hear all about them – and then I really love to go be by myself to think about it all. Because I actually like people, and it shows, most people originally think I’m an extrovert. Uh-uh!
Anyway, my brain is on this creativity super-drive, and I’m having a blast. I’m also up to my eyeballs with worry, and am getting so frustrated that I’m not getting the interviews that I really think I should be with my skills, work ethic, experience and education. It’s weird! The job hunting process is difficult, and frightening. You put yourself out there over, and over, and OVER again, begging someone to see beyond that little sheet of paper into the soul and abilities that are uniquely your own.
And in the meantime, I’m just really missing people.
I’ve gotten completely fed up with working alone in my apartment. (You know it’s bad when going to the grocery store is an ‘outing!’) It’s taken me about 4 years of self-employment to get sick of being alone all the time, but I’m finally done – LOL.
One of the other things I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is about how to give back. I love to help people and always have. At this time in my life though, I don’t have resources to help people financially, so have been really thinking about how to motivate and encourage people – maybe through my art. I love to do anonymous projects, so no one knows where the nice thing came from. Any ideas on what I can do?
All best readers – I miss you!