I have decided that for the most part, I’m not loyal to structures but the people who make up them. Loyalty is one of those things that I believe in fiercely, but others don’t, and it always surprises me when someone does not act loyally when others have been loyal to them.
What is loyalty anyway? To me, it’s being on the side of a trustworthy person that you have in your life. For me, loyalty, like trust is not earned quickly, but through time. Once you have my trust, I will be loyal to you almost to the end of time.
Loyalty is conditional of course. Unlike love that can be unconditional, loyalty is a decision to stand side by side with another person. To champion them when necessary.
Although I generally will champion the underdog, that doesn’t mean I’m loyal to them. I’m sure many of you are the same way. Loyalty without trust is not possible for me.
When you are loyal to someone and they abuse your trust, your loyalty ebbs away. This is a natural consequence. Many friendships are ended because one person assumed that the other person will act with their best interests at heart, because that’s what they have been doing. The discovery of a janus-faced person can be heart-wrenching.
Loyalty is something you can’t buy, but is precious. There should be someone that you’re loyal to above yourself. To me, loyalty bespeaks a person of quality. And, of course, it’s easier to be loyal to someone else if they are loyal to you as well.
If someone has abused your trust, you have every right to rescind the loyalty you feel towards them. As painful as it may be, feel the pain, but let it go. You deserve the same behavior and devotion you are giving to others.
Need advice? Email me!
All best,
Rose
