The bolts ran through your body, and my classmates laughed.
As an encore, the teacher played a film of a woman with multiple personalities.
(It was the biggest joke in the hall.)
I held on to my tears, seeing your face in those jolts, and your cries in that woman. I saw your humanity, and your anguish, and the god awful cruelty of this world.
Closing my eyes to fall asleep, I saw you. You lying on that table with electrodes attached to your head. Fighting, resisting, or lying peacefully, I know that it doesn’t matter.
It would all have happened anyway.
The years went by and I lost you. I had to grow up, and others said you were not fit.
I learned and learned and learned, and loved you all the while.
I learned enough to fight for you. Tackling county, state and country, I fought. I used every tool I had—I fought with my mind, my teeth, my claws, and my tears to give you peace.
And I lost.
I ended up losing so many times that I lost myself.
Now I close my eyes, and I see you walking–
Alone, you are in the bitter cold snow, with no loving arm around you.
Shadow smile, your death will never stop haunting me.
(As your life hurt us both.)