A wonderful reader wrote in who is going through some really hard things. One of the things she’s having difficulty with is that she is a birth mother struggling with Child Protective Services. She has told me a bit of her tough situation, and sounds like she really loves her children and is doing the best she can for them. Her situation made me think of other birth parents out there also struggling with wanting to be the best possible parents, but having the system come down hard on them. I recommended to her that one thing she could try was contacting a parent advocacy group like this one: http://www.parentadvocacy.org/.
This is a prayer I’ve written for all those birth parents struggling with some of the same things.
Many of my readers know that I grew up in the foster care system, until I was adopted at 14. I don’t have children myself, so maybe this isn’t something I’m qualified to write, but I really feel compelled to. It is generic, to cover all kinds of different situations, but I hope there’s something here that will help everyone.
Sometimes, all you can do is pray:
This prayer is not for me, but for my children. I love my children with all my heart and I want the best for them. I believe that I am what’s best for my children, and I pray that if for any reason that I’m not, that you will help to shape me into who you want me to be, and do what is truly right and best for my children.
Let me tell you my wish for my children. I wish that they will grow up to be smart, strong, beautiful, wise and loving. I wish that they will grow up knowing that they are absolutely loved, and know that although I’m not perfect, I truly did the best I could for them.
I know that I am flawed, but I also know that no parent is perfect. I pray that if my flaws are keeping me from doing the best things for my children, that you help me to change in the best possible ways. If, for some reason, I have not done the best I can for them, in any way, please show me how and help me to do it better. Like the old prayer, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And if you think I am doing a good job and doing the best I can, please let others see it too. Even though they may make me angry sometimes, please bless the people in the system who are working with me and my family. Please bless every person who also truly cares about my children, and is truly doing the best they know how to do for them, even if I don’t always agree. And even bless the ones that are difficult to work with, and help them see my heart and my efforts, and the hearts and efforts of my children, who I cherish.
And please God, give me the strength to carry on. Give me the strength to get through each day. Give me the strength to put my love into actions that benefit my family, and give me the strength to be the parent that you want me to be. With each difficult choice, bless the hearts of all those around me so that I can be supported in doing the very best that I can for my children.
I don’t ever want my children to go without a home or food, or anything else they need to grow up to be the best and happiest adults that they can be. So, please also help provide my children and myself with everything we need, whether it’s food, shelter, clothes, a job, transportation, medicine or insurance. And I pray for the help my children need, and I need to get through this painful time.
Whatever happens God, please let my children always be safe, loved, cherished and cared for.
If it’s meant to be in the most divine and perfect way, and in all gratitude, I pray for this.