I have never met a person who wasn’t insecure about their looks sometimes. It’s commonly assumed that this is women, but I’ve known many men who feel the same way.
The one thing I actually asked anyone for Christmas for was make-up. I’ve never asked for make-up before, usually asking for books, art or craft supplies, or good smelling bath stuff or chocolate. But this year, I’ve realized I’ve been going through a slump lately. Well, for a while. I buy everything else first before buying stuff for myself, and make-up is at the very bottom of the ‘priorities’ bag. It’s expensive, it’s easy to get wrong, and… it just sounds shallow, even to myself.
I hate the picture on this blog, even though it was taken 3 months ago, and yet haven’t felt like I looked nice enough for a new one. I’ve gained some weight since my birth-mom passed a year and a half ago. And by some, I mean nothing quite fits anymore. I don’t recognize my fuller face in the mirror, although I should by now! My hair is longer, and not such a drastic red either, so I feel like I need to take a picture to show that I’ve changed. (Plus the photographer put lots of red in my face, when I’m naturally quite pale.)
I do believe beauty is on the inside, but it’s also, unfortunately on the outside where people make judgments about you too. I have been very conscious of the fact that I’m turning 35 in March. 35??? Wow. Wasn’t I just 29?
I do know that being insecure about your looks is natural to many women (and men too). It’s not something I’m even comfortable talking about, but am trying to face. I know other women who feel self-conscious about their bodies, and that many of us seem to go in and out through feelings of inadequacy.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about though, is what makes someone beautiful or pretty? Youth is definitely one of the things in our culture that is the most prized. Clear complexions, and a warm smile do a lot too. What makes a woman beautiful in her 50′s and 60′s? I know I’ve seen beautiful older women, but I don’t know how they got that way!
Beauty is only skin-deep, and personality does a lot, although I don’t see many supermodels who are ‘beautiful’ just because of their personalities. A beautiful personality cannot be measured as well in a fashion shot. But, if you weren’t given the genetics to be a model at birth, I believe most of the rest of us worry about it.
Luckily insecurities pass, and when we take steps to make ourselves look better, we just feel better about ourselves in general. We may not always have the money for new clothes, etc, but we do have what it takes to make ourselves feel better in each day. And… some of us bite the ‘shallow’ bullet, and ask for make-up for Christmas. 
All best to all of you,
Rose
