I’m reading this book on a personality disorder that I’m now convinced that everyone around me has instead of just the person I was reading it to understand better. One of the extremely interesting things I’ve read about is life schemas.
I don’t know if I can explain these, or even how to know what yours is, but everyone has one or more major life schemas (at least from my understanding from this ‘for dummies,’ book that shall not be named. It suggests thinking about how you tell your life story.
As you tell your life story, what stories do you share, and what do you keep to yourself? Is your life story one of sadness or fear, or is it one of being misunderstood, or is it one where there are many stories of things you’ve accomplished, or happy memories with your loved ones? Those are your life stories, and the theme or themes you tell over and over again, are most likely your life schema – the overriding impetus that fuels your life.
Mine used to be a dark schema – sadness, abandonment and disappointment – as many people who grew up in foster care might have. I didn’t know before reading this book that the reason I stopped telling my life story is because it didn’t make me feel good to tell it. Now I know that if I want to change my life in a more positive direction, and if any of us want to do this – that it’s possible that re-’writing’ our official ‘story’ is a great place to start.
Today, I no longer want to tell the sad things, and instead, I like to tell the stories of grace and kindness that affected me. I think in the past 5 years, that my story has largely changed to one of gratitude….
I like it much better. What is your ‘life schema,’ or ‘schemas,’ and what do you want it to be?
All best to you,