I’m getting married in a few months, and have been thinking a lot about marriage, partnership, and strong foundations. I was married before (about 12 years ago), and really f****** that up, so am going to do my best to be a better partner to my sweetie.
I really am marrying my best friend. He’s a really good guy, who watches out for me, and makes me feel very blessed every day. Although I frequently worry about him, I never worry because of him – he’s not the kind of person who will ever hurt me, and that makes me feel very blessed too. I want to do everything I can to make his life the best possible that I can, to help him be the person he wants to be, and to take away any pain or suffering that threatens him.
Believe it or not, there are different kinds of love. My first marriage was like a hurricane, mostly because of me. I switched and changed and lashed out at my ex in a million different, unkind ways. It was a passionate, but immature kind of love, because I wasn’t fully formed yet – and at the time, I blamed him completely (now, I know it was almost entirely my fault).
Next, I loved someone long distance. That love was like a fire – it consumed me for years, but was never returned in the same way. In fact, I think, the fire I felt just blinded me with its smoke – it was an illusion that I desperately tried to make happen. I believe that if it was real, it would have happened. Maybe it was more like the love of a teenager for a movie star.
Chris and I are like water. We flow together, gently, helpfully, and with surprising strength. We lift each other out of dark patches, and comfort and bond with each other in the face of obstacles. Marrying your best friend is a wonderful gift, and I am excited to do my very best to be the best possible partner that I can be. I hope that I can give him even more than he gives me.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
This scripture really describes Chris. Entering a marriage is not a thing to do lightly, and making this kind of commitment to someone, I believe, takes great contemplation and an earnest heart. I do believe, that when you get married, you’re married under the eyes of God – and that is a sacred bond that one shouldn’t break lightly. I hope to bring my Christopher only sweetness and light, and really good things – and not just because that’s what he gives me.
May I be good enough. May I be strong enough, loving enough, and forgiving enough too. May I make his life better, and easier, and may I be a great friend and love to him. Please help me to never cause him any pain, or if I do, to have it be easily fixed and resolved (because i know I make mistakes). May his life be better because I’m in it, and may I be the person he needs me to be. Help me to not ever fail him, and to not ever let him down. Help me to be the best possible partner and wife to him that I could possibly be, and help our love grow stronger and more wonderful every day.
Thank you, dear reader, for being a witness to my higher intentions.